gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
