Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize