If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize