The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
