So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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