Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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