how do flat chested girls get laid?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
