I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
