He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
