lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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