just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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