What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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