I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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