Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
