I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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