ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
