plz talk dirty to me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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