Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
