That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
