I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
