He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
