Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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