Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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