office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
