I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
