She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
