my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
where does the pee come out of this thing
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
