just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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