I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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