Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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