just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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