I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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