i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
