matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
