What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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