his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
