if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
