Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
