The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
