This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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