It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do flat chested girls get laid?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
