And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
