I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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