Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
