i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
