There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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