she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
