escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
