I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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