do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
