i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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