May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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