Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
