Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
