Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
