i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
