Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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