please come you make the beer taste better
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize