Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
