Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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