You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
